Surviving the African Parent

 

  It's an age old trick. No promises. No commitments. Refundable. Forever warranty. With the never fading, never ending, evergreen product "When you're old enough" you can put off promises till the end of the world. You don't want to tell a story or secret yet, "When you're old enough" has got you covered.   You can also try our product variant "You're not old enough yet" and postpone the request to spill the beans for another five years!!! You don't feel like taking your kid or sibling somewhere? "You're not old enough" has got you covered. See a movie? Event accompaniment? Buy something? "When you're old enough" covers all your needs. All YOU need is clear seniority over whomever as the user of our product!  It's a buy one, get infinity free deal!!! Order yours today! Patent pending. I think our parents saw this advert and bought the product. What do you think? Can you count the number of times your...

 

  Remember all those times when we were young and went to parties with our parents? They would serve food and our moms would say You better eat well here oo. I'm not cooking when we get home. This is your dinner. I found that it still applies when you're almost an adult.  Guess what??? I was the one saying it this time. We were at a buffet. As long as you have paid the fee, you are free to eat till you drop. And I made sure that was what everyone did. They ate till they could barely drag themselves out of their seats to go home.  Now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I understood why my mom did what she did. I was definitely not going to cook after someone else was generous enough to cook food that would serve as both our lunch AND dinner. If you're hungry when we get home, go and butter bread. 

 

  You know all those times that for whatever reason you have to stand in a long queue to get something? I know. It's terrible. You know all those times you have to stand in a long line to get something and there is a fast track lane for special customers and circumstances? I know. It's torture. Watching people that came waay after you leave waay before you. Well. I'm here to tell you what it's like on the other side of the tracks. THE  FAST  TRACK  LANE. From my experience, I have just one thing to say. It was still torture. You know when you get held up by officials because of a stupid circumstance that seems to make no sense? Yeah, It was one of THOSE situations. Even people on the regular lane left these before us.  AND THEY CAME AFTER US!!! This was even worse than the regular lane!!! That was my experience with fast track. How was yours?

 

  "Herma! Herma!"  My younger yelled at the top of his lungs running to me at full speed. I was worried. What on earth could be wrong? "The water filter needs to be changed." He said. This was a problem of epic proportions.  If the filter was bad, then that meant that dirt came out of the taps with regular water. Simply put, the water was impure. My brother was panicking. I was panicking. Hold on a moment. How did he know the water was impure now? I asked him as much and he showed me a sieve. It had a speck of dirt the size of my fingernail. I panicked for dirt the size of a fingernail??? They say don't blame the messenger I guess there are exceptions to every rule.