Surviving the African Parent

  At some point or the other, every teen thought of running away from home when they were younger. This isn't an African thing though, it's a kid thing. We pack our favourite toys and think we'll be good to go. I recently saw a video of a kid who looked about six years old that packed his bag and announced to his dad he was running away from home. When they brought him back inside, all he had was a minecraft sword and a skateboard. I was much more reasonable, I think or you could call it chicken. I thought of what I would pack and who I would run to, but I realized they would all bring me back home so I didn't bother running at all. I thought of it though. I have a friend whose brother said he was running away and started crying immediately he left the gate. How did you plan to run away?

 

I'll have to admit.  I didn't know this was a thing until I spoke to other teens. It was almost as if I was the odd one out.  Okay, not almost. I WAS the odd one out. What does your parent call you when they are mad? How do you identify when your parent is mad at you when they are calling you? For a lot of teens, it is when their parents use their entire name. Their entire African name instead of their abbreviated one. or their entire name, including their last name. Either ways, for a lot of teens, it spells doom. For other teens (like me), we begin running when their intonation is slightly off, or they shout our names (louder than usual). How do you know when your parent is mad from just them calling your name?

 

You try to reach for something, but you're not tall enough. You get the stool and you're fine. You need to sit down on a low chair to work in the kitchen. You bring out the stool and it's perfect. Good for every and any odd job in the African kitchen and beyond, the short, wooden, four-legged stool has been in my family since I was born (and probably since you were born too). It has been the companion of African families since the beginning of time, bravely assisting in chores around the house. Do you know the stool I'm talking about?  Where is it in YOUR house?

 

 

  Whenever teens get together, at one point in time or the other, the conversation always drifts to how African parents are.  The stories exchanged are usually funny and everyone tries to outdo everyone else to show that their parent could be the most extreme, hilarious, restless, old-fashioned or whatever.  There was the once in a blue moon story that brought the cheerful stream of conversation to an awkward halt and the more common stories that had everyone laughing and saying 'me too!' An example of a story shared fairly often was doing math with your parent. It wasn't teaching as much as it was shouting. 'If John has fifteen apples, six are bad, he eats two and gives four to his friends, how many does he have left?' 'Four? ' you'd answer. 'IF JOHN HAS FIFTEEN APPLES, SIX ARE BAD, HE EATS TWO AND GIVES FOUR TO HIS FRIENDS, HOW MANY DOES HE HAVE LEFT?' 'Two?' you'd ask in a smaller voice. 'IF JOHN HAS...' At this point in te...