Surviving the African Parent

 

Has anyone ever noticed that the way you talk at home is super different from the way you talk with your friends? Don't believe me? How much young adult slang do you use at home? Do you use foul language? Do you use meaningless exclamations at the top of your lungs? How about teasing? Do you do it differently with your siblings? Why do you think we do that? I'll tell you why. It's because we hear our parents voices in our ears subconsciously saying things like 'Drop your nonsense outside the door' or 'Don't bring that rubbish into my house!'

 

  'Mom, dad, can I sleepover at my friend's house next week?' 'Sleep-what? You can be with them all day, why do you need to sleep in their house? Why can't they come here?...' A lot more questions follow that. From the experience of teens, more often than not, parents believe that you should play out all day and come back to your house to sleep. It's not a bad philosophy.  You don't really lose out of not sleeping over at your friend's house. A huge pro is, when you are older, hopefully, you'll sleep in your own house most of the time, which is a great way to remain safe.

 

Lagbaja,  Madam Coi-coi, The headless girl, Bushbaby, Mammy water Lulu and so many others. I'm sure we all heard these stories. Even if you didn't go to boarding school, you heard of Madam coi-coi and the bush baby. We grew up with tales of Lagbaja, and Mammy water instead of the monster under the bed and the boogie man. I grew up with the tale of Shokolokbangoshe in addition to all these. He was a monster that captured bad children and carried them to his cave (I'll leave the rest of the story for you to complete). Whenever he walked, the ground shook.  Scary as they may been. Each story taught an important lesson- from being well behaved to not going out alone at night or out at night at all. What stories did you grow up hearing?

 

  Just to be clear. I am not talking about my friend. I'm talking about keywords that let you know that your parents are getting ready to explode. An old favourite is when they replace your name with 'my friend'. It was the first time I realized that the words 'my friend' can sound so scary. Whatever argument or opinion you have can wait. It's a sure sign that they are upset. What YOU need to do is be quiet. If I ever hear that, I shut up and backtrack faster than you can say Shokolokobangoshe (another story). I always found it funny though. The meaning of that word when a parent say it is almost exact opposite of when I say it.